Buy and Sell Bitcoin Online Paxful

I need help please.

I'm not really a survivor. I haven't earned that title yet but before I explain this post involves
-Self harm -Sexual abuse (obviously) -Physical abuse -Emotional and Physiological pain, manipulation. -Dark web use/bitcoin yada yada -Underage porn/nudes etc.
If YOU or anyone else is sensitive to these things PLEASE click off and read something else.
I consider myself to be sexually abused, but not in the ways you might think. So of all places, I've come to the fire of the internet, reddit.
Okay, so I'm going to give relatively the shortest summary of my 3 years of going through this CURRENTLY as I can.
I am on another community app called Amino - Communties and chats. Where people can go into live chatrooms, create posts, do forums, polls etc.
It seems like a dream for any young teen like me who's been bullied most of her life and has no friends. It became my escape, but now, it seems more like a prison I can never get out of.
At the start I met this guy called darklord, (his username) I have his real name, his face, his address and phone number, but I will not be exposing him, because I still have respect for him, but he doesn't have a slither of it for me.
I met him in private messages after someone introduced me to him. And he tried to get me into a contract where I would be considered a "dog" and I won't have no rights as a person and I would be seen literal trash made to do whatever he said. I saw that in the contract, despite him trying to sugarcoat it. I declined it originally. I wanted nothing to do with this person.
Then later on down the line he got his other male friends to gang up on me, and threaten me with my IP address, and convinced me to believe that I was at a real threat, I was freshly 15, and had no knowledge about IP addresses, or anything of the sort, I was told I had to be in a contract otherwise they would leak all my personal information and one of the males threatening me lived in the same country and was going to hurt me.
I did as he said and signed the contract, and he made me do things I didn't want to do, and made me believe I didn't have a choice, SO I sent him nude images, keep in mind that this person is an adult, and knows what hes doing, he was passed the age of 18 at the time, but he never told me anything significant about him, at the time, so I didn't know his age.
I had no idea that he had saved the images at all. And later on down the line I ended breaking the contract because he would degrade me in public, along with several other members in the community, the community had over 2 million people and the most relevant people there would constantly ruin me, saving images of my face without my knowledge and degrading it behind my back and making others hate me.
Throughout this time I started to notice it wasnt just me in these harmful manipulative contracts. They're several young girls in these contracts. Some even younger than me. Doing the exact same things. And my self worth started to plummet, I was taken out of school during this time because my bullies got physical. Way too physical, and my mum was frightened for my health and safety. So with nothing to distract me from the abuse I was getting online, and it being the only place were I could talk to others, the saying pops in my head;
"Any attention is good attention"
In my case, any person who paid interest in me, was a good thing, because all my life I've never had freinds, and it made me a massive people pleaser and very vunderable.
So throughout that time, I kept trying to please those people who would laugh at me, tease me, and meeting people who had already had a tarnished view of me from other people's words. This really started messing with my self esteem, I didn't notice it at first, because of my bullying, I already had a bad self esteem.
Slowly, I started to lose my passions, everything that made me unique. Like art, food became tasteless, I joined to a new all girls grammar school after seven months of dealing with emotional abuse, school was pushed aside, I started to skip school, I developed a harsh flaring temper that could trigger any second even now towards my loved ones.
Girls at school started to hate me because I wouldn't work. I'd never want to wake up in the morning, I would stall for aslong as I possibly could, and constantly be late. The teachers and students made it a kinda reputation for me and I became the "bad egg" of the students. But they didnt understand, no one did. I started to skip school, my anxiety became worse, way worse, I'd sit down in classes and have break downs if work needed to be asked of me, cause I knew I haven't done it, that app became my life. All day at school I'd think about amino, constantly. You wouldn't catch me paying attention in lessons, all I did was sing, and write song lyrics. It used to make the teachers really mad, and I could understand that.
With no one understanding me, I kept to myself, with the app, like a drug.
I started to isolate myself, from my parents, everyone, I wouldn't tell anyone anything, and I still don't.
I spent most of my time in the behavioural support room, because I'd have anxiety break downs, and my feelings were constantly a rollercoaster. This time early this year was nearing to GCSE's and I didnt know what actually happened to me was abuse, so I chalked my sadness up to insecurities, and lack of motivation because my grades dropped so badly from being out of school, I'd missed a crucial whole year of content.
I kept trying to slow down time to figure out the real problem, but I couldn't, I was walking around trapped inside a dead body. I didn't feel alive. I put a mask to all the students that I didn't care. And it ultimately hurt me more. I couldn't slow down my GCSE's I couldn't start again, that ruined me for a long while.
On the app, I tried to stop darklord from hurting someone else who I thought had my back, but, darklord found out it was me that warned him. And, he exposed my nude pictures to everyone, My face was reduced to nothing from that day, everyone had it.
I feel violated, disgusting, and not human, I feel horrible, and the worst human alive, I've never known people to be so cruel, this cruel before.
If I I didn't feel dead before, I definitely felt dead now. The person I tried to protect laughed in my face, and strung me along for a while, and developed my bad temper, and took credit for it like it was a good thing, he was a narcissist and a deceitful liar.
I went off the app for a while, then created a youtube account. In the youtube account I felt ready enough to break my silence. In the video, I talked about my experience on the app, and told my story, and warned people about doing and falling for what I did.
One night, the video got over 200+ views. But not by random people, they were people from darklord's group, he had a massive group of people that had influence around the entire amino. Everyone knew them, so when they found it, they showed it in a screening room full of people, and ridiculed it for all to see, showing my face, making fun of me, and laughing at what happened to me like a funny joke.
That night I received so many hate comments, death threats, and other mean things, that ultimately made me fall into going back onto the app.
When I went back on it, I was ridiculed and looked down on as a literal dog, everyone hated me, people WHO I didn't even know treated me like absolute shit. I dont feel human anymore.
And now I found out that they
-Self underage nudes through bitcoin -Steal bitcoin accounts (dont know if that's considered Identity theft) -Gets others, minors to slit their wrists through threats -Have caused suicides. -And are possibly doing worse to others than me.
It kills me everyday knowing that I've gone through this and can never speak out to anyone because I feel so ashamed. I'm afraid, because I want to be a famous singer when I'm older, and I feel like I've ruined everything, and everything's my fault, and I was meant to be hated since I was born. My face aren't in the nudes, but that doesnt matter, I feel violated, and exposed and disgusting.
My soul and heart are in those pictures
And I can never get them back,
They're still doing this disgusting acts and getting away with it, even having all their information, I'm not in their country, so I cant do anything, plus I sont want my family knowing about this because I feel like a disgrace.
Please help me.
Thanks for reading.
submitted by Softservex0 to adultsurvivors [link] [comments]

Transcript of George Webb Video Series Part 287 "Hillary's Leakers, Hackers, and Henchmen" [@Georgwebb / #HRCRatline]

  • Day 141.4. DEA Licenses Being Stolen and Compromising Pharmacists? - YouTube
    • Day 140 back to the opium dome you can just kind of pick the top of it off
    • And take off and go ahead and get your opiates
    • So yeah I'm not saying the director of strategy Awan is the director of the opiate dome or not but
    • Again, why the DEA license?
    • And if there was an enforcement agency--let's say the DEA where
    • And let's say you had somebody a friend in the DEA business
    • Like let's say, Bruce Ohr, you could go around and see which licenses had expired, retired doctors who had retired, revoked, etc
    • If you had a common name like Wong or Awan, you could reuse those licenses much the same way that the employee numbers were reused in the PeopleSoft application
    • So basically, you just say, "hey I'm Albert Wong today, nd I am going to go in and visit let's say Lobel LaBelle"
    • The gal who is the executive director at this largest facility in the country for veterans the largest consumer of pain meds and different types of psych meds
    • And say, "look you're not complying--you're out of compliance with your EEO, 15-percent has to go to EEO, we're gonna lower the boom on you. We're gonna come down on you. We're gonna sue you."
    • And what's the natural reaction?
    • Well, "you have a list of people who I could buy through, small pharmacies, or whatever, small distributors?"
    • Oh yeah sure I've got a list right here : it's it's Omar Awan, you can buy from him
    • Or you can buy from Mark Lambert, he's on our list,
    • Or you can buy from Saipov, he's one of our truckers, you can you can you can get it from him,
    • Or Albert Wong, he's one of our local guys
    • You got to be one of these four though, otherwise we're coming down on you hard
    • We're gonna we're gonna lay it on you with lawsuits right
    • Now, there was just recently a case of this W E R T K I N [[WERTKIN]] I would think of it like a not like a wart on your face
    • And then a family like that would be a wart-kin
    • This is wart kin like work like wer t like beer wort, not like beer wort but like wart-kin
    • But he had 40 of these cases of whistleblower cases in health
    • Now, is that DEA? is that VA? is that VA where DEA meets VA? is that Health? is that HHS? We don't really know
    • But 40 whistleblower cases somehow he has, in San Francisco
    • I'm not saying it's McKesson McKesson McKesson I don't know who those cases are
    • But again, we don't know he's somehow in a private law firm has 40 government whistleblower cases
    • Now, we know there's a hundred 90 whistleblower cases here, with a guy named Stone, who's stonewalling in those cases
    • Again, this Senate is stonewalling the approval of the new Inspector General for those cases
    • We need to get some transparency here
    • There is a huge something very rotten in Denmark something is horribly rotten
    • We need to get a new inspector general to get those 190 cases out see if those are the same 40 cases as the wertkin
    • And then we have all the sealed indictments
    • He was selling sealed indictments. This Wertkin can was selling sealed indictments
    • Now, it's almost sounds like sealed indictments are every bit as much of businesses as expired or retired DEA licenses!
    • Let's get the bottom of this
    • This sealed indictment thing is bad news
    • It seems like a secondary market in sealed indictments
    • Is it just this one guy with the 40 indictments?
    • We have 10,000 more than 10,000 sealed indictments out there, we got to get to the bottom of this
    • First thing Trump can do just take all 190 whistleblower cases
    • And just publish just publish those
    • Publish the Inspector General report for the house
    • Publish all the Capitol police reports just push it out there the sergeant of arms etc just for starters
    • Just for starters just push it out just like you did with the Fast and Furious
    • Just push it out
    • Then we'll bring in Inspector Generals that can look at the crowd source analysis of all that information
    • And with these 40 cases out in San Francisco this Wertkin just push it out who are the 40 cases
    • We need to know
    • If somebody's selling sealed indictments we have a market being established for 40s indictments
    • We have to publish all 10,000
    • Who are the 10,000 sealed indictments
  • Day 141.5. We Will EEO Your Ass, Dr Wong. Write the Damn Script - YouTube
    • Day 140 this is part six or 141 part six here we are at the opium dome let me see if I can get that top
    • And the opium dome opiate dome I got it no no almost got it got it there it is
    • Taking the top off blowing the lid off the opiate dome
    • Forget about Omar Awan with the license with the DEA license ed I want you to think about Omar Awan and the DEA license anymore today
    • But this Curious Case of Dr. Wong
    • Now, this isn't I'm not saying two morons Wongs make a right
    • But this is a case where two Wong's may actually make a right
    • (that's hard to say if you do it really fast)
    • But though this Wong is 48 year old Albert Wong, not the younger guy who shot the women at Yountville--the executive director at the VA
    • But the a guy in Chino
    • He only writes 13 prescriptions a month he's a pharmacist 13 prescriptions a month
    • He's getting all kinds of pressure from these drug companies, we want to go in business, we'll provide you all the doctors, all you have to do is write the prescriptions write the prescriptions write the prescriptions
    • Well the guy--he feels pressured, so he goes into business
    • And it turns out these doctors are fake
    • These are Awan doctors--these are fakes. They're all fake
    • But now, he the FBI is coming after him
    • Now, because he wrote the prescriptions
    • He said I tried to see if they were real, I called the Awan doctors, and they seemed real I--
    • I only got a couple minutes to fill a prescription.
    • I only did 13 prescriptions a month
    • So he writes this letter, and he explains this situation saying, "hey I got muscled out of of my DEA license"
    • This is what happened 2012--it's the case you can read it I put it out on Twitter
    • Now, is this the same thing as Al Capone used to do?
    • Al Capone used to go into a bar...he'd send his guys into a bar
    • He'd say, "hey you got a nice bar--it'd be a shame if it exploded"
    • And the bartender would naturally go well you guys look pretty rough, can you tell me how it won't explode?
    • "Well you got to do protection"
    • "Oh what's how has protection work? (not child protection that's another)
    • "But the way it works is you buy beer from us. If you don't buy beer from us, the place explodes."
    • These are your choices. This is the old SEIU--I'm gonna give you a choice
    • And this is the Chicago Way, having spent a lot of time in Chicago
    • And I'm not saying Rahm Emmanuel's running the opiate dome
    • I'm not saying that. No Rahm Emanuel on the opiate dome
    • But that's your choice
    • And it looks like that same type of intimidation, SEIU intimidation tactic on these pharmacists is being used to get these DEA licenses
    • Now, what if it's the same DEA license that this guy gave up in 2012, that this Albert Wong, the shoot-'em-up guy at Yountville
    • What if he took over that same DEA license, and wrote thousands, and thousands of prescriptions, where the old real doctor, the real doctor Wong was only writing 13
    • What if that was true
    • We might have found the problem on Capitol Hill
  • Day 141.6. Why Are We Expecting So Much From Horowitz? - YouTube
    • Day 141
    • And here at the US Navy Memorial, nice flags here
    • Of course your name's Sandy Berger or a latter-day Sandy Berger there's your sandy pants right there, if you want to stuff your pants with some documents to obstruct justice, which is what we have electronically: terabytes to Pakistan
    • And of course this organization right here the DOJ not only has the FBI in their enforcement arm, but they have the DEA
    • Now, my question is everyone's waiting for the DEA's IG report
    • And they have 450 people--this Michael Horowitz
    • And everybody is expecting great things for Michael Horowitz
    • Well I'm gonna ask you: if myself and Task Force can find Omar Awan's DEA license
    • If we can find Saipov's license
    • If we can find Mark Lambert--the head guy still there trying to push Campbell as the informant, Campbell Soup, Mark Lambert's the key guy
    • He has a DEA license
    • If they can't find those
    • Wong, if they can't find Albert Wong's DEA license--the guy who supposedly has PTSD and is shooting up the VA
    • If they can't find those things, open source, with 450 lawyers
    • And all the inside information
    • And all the ability with the FBI to do any kind of deep dive on any person the United States possible
    • Why are we expecting so much from his report?
    • That's all I'm saying--is why are we expecting anything?
    • The only way that they've ever produced anything is by somebody producing documents in a lawsuit
    • And then they come in later said, "oh yeah we thought of that too"
    • That's the only thing that this is
    • Anyone who is expecting anything out of the Horowitz report is just doing wishful thinking
    • Wishful thinking
  • Day 142.8. [email protected] As Information Artist. - YouTube
    • Continue our series with JK day 142 part 7
    • So we're talking about internalizing information right internalizing it
    • How to apply it I had a student who was on the debate team
    • And foreign student from Cameroon right actually from Africa yeah
    • (looks like you're wearing the opium dome we're gonna move you off the opium dome and)
    • So the students this happened with all the students were many of the students
    • But they would apply it in their other classes the concepts that I taught
    • So the ability to extract, accept good information is the gathering of the good information
    • And then action literacy is acting ethically upon that
    • So she talked about how these concept of accuracy, accessibility, clarity, context, and then are being refined and relevant
    • Those are the main six concepts and--
    • G: how I think of this when I think of you
    • And your in your Mueller song
    • And then your Peter Paul and Mary song or its its Dion it was a guy named Dick Hollar
    • But I think Peter Paul
    • And Mary also covered that song Martin Luther--anybody here yeah the we'll get to that don't worry I know the fans are clamoring to hear--that John
    • And Abraham Martin and John
    • New lyrics Abraham Martin
    • And John got all the people we've lost all the young people we've lost
    • So it really is that's internalizing the with the part I like about this
    • And the part I like about when our searchers do compound searches is they are internalizing the story into themselves that are
    • The act of going and being active rather than passive
    • Yeah I want to say that George and Task Force are information literate and beyond that information I forgot
    • Again, you said fluency fluency there are information fluent
    • And most people didn't give them enough money if we don't get more money
    • That's exactly what they're doing
    • But I thought of music and you being an information artist sort of
    • You're an information artist in the sense that you are when you have to like redo a song with two funny lyrics you're kind of internalized you first have to internalize the information, then you have to re express it to the world
    • And you're creating
    • You're moving from like the consumer of information to a creator of information in a way
    • Yeah no thank you for saying that I hadn't even thought about it because it is a it does take a lot of work and you have to think it through
    • So I had to know the Grinch song for the Muller parody
    • And internalize it and then move off of that
    • So in that's it kind of the funnier example
    • The more serious example is the opiate crisis and, so you've got a couple of of meaningful stanzas at the end right
    • And one is about kids being lost is that
    • Yeah the third stanza is about all the young people that we've lost to the opioid crisis
    • You want to do that alright next anybody seen that crowing child
    • Wake up see what's going on
    • I hear cries from the secret place
    • And see the pain on a mother's face
    • I woke up and millions were gone
    • G: I think that to me is it doesn't just internalize, it somehow imprints on your heart--it's somehow that when you do that it's somehow that's with me for a promotional yeah connects emotionally
    • But but that's a part of information that imprinting of information
    • You've got it yeah that people don't know
    • And actually that's what advertising does in kind of a negative way--they manipulate you right and I use emotion to get you to buy something
    • So can be used first Norden called me by the way that called me her daughter had died from an overdose
    • So that's why when she saw the first clip, that's why she wanted to talk to you right away
    • Well I want to dedicate to all those people
    • And Pittsburgh we're gonna dedicate that song to you
  • Day 142.11. I wasn’t Looking - YouTube
    • Finally we decided to do a fourth piece
    • And not all action literacy is serious right it can be fun okay
    • Now, I'm gonna use it for my own purposes because that's how I am selfish and all that I
    • Action literacy, and if I have an information artist I'm gonna say "look you know"
    • But this song is gonna be about not lucky it's gonna be about just having fun
    • which is
    • "I wasn't looking JK", you can do a keyword search
    • "I wasn't looking JK" it's a song I wrote
    • Now, this sounds a little autobiographical like this is how you met your wife or something yes is it
    • And the gist the song is not looking and that's when you find love
    • There you go and that's when you find information for this channel to always remember "Search Search"
    • I'm kidding
    • That's how I found this about six weeks ago I wasn't looking for George Webb
    • And when I first saw it I saw how you just you cover so many bases I got about 20 percent of I'm like oh my god
    • So let's outro here on a bouncy sunny jingle
    • So nice the weather it was spring here is great
    • So you need me to
    • Let's make that the background
    • {{SONG}} I wasn't looking through the park that way I wasn't seeing
    • But the Sunny day
    • How do you find a love when you're not looking
    • She was cooling
    • But the place was hot was just all my way to the parking lot
    • How do you find a love when you're not looking
    • But it found her that night
    • It was a shining bright
    • And it found me to hey
    • We were looking
    • And that is our story
    • Is you guys got to look for this channel
    • But also look for those serendipitous channels like JK's
    • So JK space swamp space Muller or information artist or information artist
    • Or I wasn't looking jk jk there you have it what is it active literacy action literacy
    • And information literacy
    • And action lose it
    • And we'll catch you in Lisbon if we don't get you in Lisbon will see you in Bosnia
  • Day 142.12. MedCOM. - YouTube
    • Day 142 it's part 12
    • And we can't seem to get off Capitol Hill before more news breaks
    • But phantom secured phantom secure
    • If you wanted a secure phone that would be like a phantom you'd probably contract with phantom secure
    • Oh by the way it turns out Albert Wong's company ABM ABM is an SEIU Union
    • And they do Med secure
    • They do medical facilities MEDCOM the Medical Command
    • If Medical Command is in California, and Albert Wong is doing that medical security with a phantom secure blackberry: Wow!
    • Anyway we don't know if these BlackBerry's these phantom secure BlackBerries
    • They rip the phone out, they rip the microphone out, excuse me they rip the camera out, they rip the browser out, they ripped the normal messaging services the normal BBS messaging services out
    • It's a stripped-down phone reminds me of Obama's phone actually with only 30 phone numbers hardwired into it
    • That's the phone number that Jack Lew and Dennis McDonagh gave Obama, so that he could only text 30 different people
    • Very nice thank thanks, Joe Biden
    • Well anyway I don't think was Joe Biden either those other folks
    • But anyway they watered down his phone
    • McDonough did it and Lew
    • But anyway getting back to phantom secure
    • This is the one that the all the bike gangs have
    • Phantom secures also the provider to who Sinaloa cartel
    • Fast and furious cleared out all the gangs
    • Made it so that the Mexican oil company could be Denationalized, being able to sell the Gulf Shore leases
    • All this is tied together into one big land grab
    • And the people that we're giving the BlackBerries phantom secure BlackBerries
    • Again, all we need to do is publish the server
    • And we'll find out what those IP addresses are
    • And the other thing about phantom secure is it can remotely wipe the phone if it's ever confiscated by authorities
    • Ramos is the guy's name
    • Not Jorge Ramos of what's that Ramos Vincent Ramos is the CEO
    • It's a company based in Canada I think it's based close to blackberry
    • I think it's in Ottawa
    • I think I think Blackberry was in Ottawa
    • And I believe phantom secure's also in Ottawa
    • So this is very closely tied to NATO
    • And the whole NATO crypto Development--the whole government of Canada's cryptography development
    • And that's that's who Hillary went to to, to do the cryptography for these Blackberries
    • Now, I believe that Blackberries are still being configured by Rao Speedwagon Abbas
    • And being run in and out of the buildings--potentially, from the server by Jamal
    • But the technology comes from Ottawa
    • Comes from this same the same place that phantom secure got their cryptography
    • And encryption technology it's the same place that from blackberry it all comes from blackberry
    • As a matter of fact why not just point right at the Canadian embassy
    • It comes from that Canadian embassy right there
  • Day 142.14. Learning Our DEA Letters - YouTube
    • This is Day 142 this part I think 13 this big day
    • So Rizvi everybody's one of rizvi
    • It's kind of taken capitol hill by storm
    • I remember the frisbee craze
    • I remember hula hoops
    • I do not remember abomb beers, I do not remember Coonskin caps
    • But apparently Rizvi if you can find a Rizvi now, on Capitol Hill it's worth big bucks
    • It's like Bitcoin worth--it's like a one Rizvi is like worth a Bitcoin
    • No actually Rizvi is a name of interest
    • I was just kidding you
    • R I Z V I
    • And it's a name of interest in Florida Rizvi investments
    • We recommend everybody go to their website and and--check out Rizvi R I Z V I
    • Well he also has a DEA license
    • So it probably is worth while we all learn about DEA licenses, since it's the most pressing problem in America right now bar none
    • With what 170 opioid deaths a day?
    • That's 1010 parklands a day
    • So this is the most pressing problem in America
    • So let's learn a little bit about licenses for DEA there's only two letters
    • That's a nice part it's--it's kind of like those alpha Bravo teams--the Alpha splitters
    • And the betas stringers
    • They only have to worry about two letters--it's easy
    • Or if you're in the Awan brothers, doing grain or something, A B AB auto
    • Just two letters a B a B a one brother ID
    • So the two letters first two letters--the first letter is going to be the type of practitioner that you are
    • So A B there's an F and a G
    • You just think of all the grades you might get from a teacher
    • And then they add a G because they like me
    • Those are the top level practitioners research hospitals institutions big boys
    • A through G
    • Then there's an M level, first letter again, first letter, M level, which is a mid-level practitioner
    • Those are your physician's assistants, and those clinic nurse practitioners
    • And then exporters are PR
    • So you can think of like "PR firms"
    • Like like most of the people who have been getting these export licenses seem to be PR firms!
    • So P and R
    • Well this one's F and W
    • So Rizvi, we just just saw that he had an export license, we were just going through the list, and saying FW? what's the W?
    • Is a W a special class for R is V or is it not we didn't see anything after R
    • So that's out there for the group
    • Now, MEDCOM
    • We did identify med come it's based in San Antonio Texas they have a young woman that's running Army US Army MEDCOM
    • All the medical security for the US Army
    • Now, it's just odd that that Wong--Albert Wong
    • And we don't know if Albert Wong's dad is the one in the California pharmacy board or sisters the one on the pharmacy board for Hawaii
    • We don't know any of that
    • But what is weird is that ABM his security company contracts directly for US MEDCOM
    • That is strange. That is crazy
    • So we need to drill down on more on ABM we need to drill down more ends
    • Plus it's an SEIU Union!
    • We need to drill down more on that, and find out how actually these drugs move around
    • And who is in charge of the security of these drugs I think it's gonna be ABM, meaning it's a third party
    • And that is gonna be trouble that's going to be trouble
  • Day 142.16. Correction on Roxbury DRs - YouTube
    • Day 142.15 real quick correction
    • Of course we got cannon here then we've got the long Longworth office building ready
    • Can't you just see Rao and Jamal running in and out with those cartridges--those toner cartridges
    • And of course we've got the office building down there the Rayburn office building, John Wilkes phone booth
    • Now, where those drives just put out there for--a placeholder we don't know right now just yet
    • But one last thing is the second letter the second letter in a DEA license should be the first letter of someone's last name
    • Should be the first one letter of someone's last name
    • So Webb would be a W
    • So FW this is the Rizvi last name, should be an R, right? Should be an R for his Rizvi last name and
    • Now, I've learned Q has said this Rizvi person is important
    • I don't want to jump on--drink the Q-laid yeah
    • I don't necessarily think Q is always on mark with a Q-laid
    • But he did say the Rizvi thing is important
    • The only thing I could add to that is that this is odd that the second letter is not an 'R' it's a W in his DEA license
  • Day 142.21. Your Turn Not To Burn - YouTube
    • We thought we were done
    • But we're not. So this is Margaret Lewis, say hi Margo
    • ML: HI
    • Is that too tight?
    • So Margaret is we see folks here in Washington that each come that have something very important to say
    • And I feel like it's my job when I meet somebody like this to really help them
    • And when they want they have something specific, like an action step, like hey we need to tweet this guy Monk or whatever his name is, I want to do it
    • Now, this is a sad story because her daughters horribly burned when she was 16, by a very simple little tiny fix called a "flame arrestor" a flame flame arrestor
    • And for how long for two hundred years that flame arrestors have been used?
    • ML: yes flame arrestor have been on anything that we cook with heat with her light in all of our homes and everyday use, since they were first invented and patented--1800s
    • And problem is somewhere around 2002, manufacturers decided in order to compete in the marketplace they'd save some manufacturing costs and take the safety guard off
    • And when you don't have this little tiny piece of metal or plastic on the opening it turns it what it would be a normal gas can or ethanol or methanol type of a container into a flamethrower
    • And when that vapor gets sucked inside of a container, we call them an an ice or internal container explosion
    • An ice will shoot a flamethrower anywhere up to 15 20 23 feet well
    • And the research has been done by ATF, CPSC everybody knows it
    • And we've been part of trying to get these flame arrestors required, and put back on instead of voluntary
    • And it's been really hard
    • So that's why I said, "hey if I walking down the street or I do an escalator I would ask you for
    • G: and Margaret said, "hey George I know you"
    • So so this is the thing Margaret was worked with GE I think we can say--that you were six six sigma black belt, continuous process improvement
    • Work for Jeff ML work for the previous guy at Welch
    • So this is a person who you were like in the top executive circle going to China China China for
    • ML: I was a lucky girl that could always make my numbers
    • And I like doing what I did
    • And I was very I I enjoyed the challenge till I do it's like I'm not having fun anymore
    • I'm a mom I got twin daughters I needed to do some other things now
    • G: But your life dramatically changed when this happened to your daughter
    • And she was there at the Shriners Hospital with her daughter
    • And she described how they have to exfoliate the skin every 12 hours
    • And the pain...and this is a mom that I see just incredible fortitude
    • I mean I just yeah--just put one foot in front of the other
    • And just make this thing happen
    • ML: I represent about 4,000 moms a year
    • This is happening 4,000 times a year somebody gets burned by a flammable liquid--not my numbers
    • Facts are my friends it's as NFPA's numbers
    • G: This is a very simple fix--this is a ten-cent this is reminds me of the Pinto
    • This reminds me so much to the Pinto, which we had that $5.00 thing on in the gas can
    • And then we had all these people getting the $5
    • ML: Funny you should bring that up, I just happen to have three flame arrestor on me
    • yeah
    • G: I remember those as a kid when you mow the yard right this little piece of metal our screening could be right in like a gas can yeah or the kin that I spent $25 on yeah they sold him to me telling me it was safer
    • And the price had gone from 17 to 25 dollars
    • So I said I'm gonna buy a case
    • They sold me a case
    • And this is the one that didn't put on that one
    • So the manufacturer that showed me that for $25 didn't put this on
    • Can we agree this is not expensive
    • G: that's not expensive
    • ML: This is what caused the damage
    • Here's one and this is a metal one
    • You can see this one would be on like of a car D room 151 oh very high proof, because bartenders do bad flaming shot
    • And here's another one that's on metal or excuse me um this was I not like a alcohol gel
    • So just so you can appreciate this is just three examples you can see
    • These aren't expensive these are complicated they've been around for 200 years
    • G: So let's let's do a quick call to action now
    • But you said is it Peter monk I what I heard
    • ML: Phil Monkton when I heard
    • G: But I heard Peter Monk I was like oh not not that guy. Yeah Moncton like a monk with a ton of stuff on his back
    • ML: yes Phil Moncton is the guy that drives me crazy
    • He's the vice president a largest Gas can company
    • He's also the president
    • G: what's the largest gas can company?
    • ML Scepter S C E P T E R
    • Scepter out of the Canada
    • G: let's all tweet scepter and say, "hey how about the flame arrestor?"
    • ML: Yes it's like five cents scepter had them on their products they took them off by 2002 I happen to have found depositions
    • So I know when they try to claim oh we don't know what they are we need to study it more
    • Because Phil is the chair of the committee that's been pretending to fix the problem for 10 years
    • He's the president of the Manufacturers Association, which is the lobbying group
    • And he's the vice president of all their sales and revenue streams
    • So that one individual--if we can just get one person to like move aside, we can solve this problem
    • G: And what I would recommend it is there's a healt and welfare committee in the House and the Senate side is
    • Find out which representatives are on there and then tag those wraps, saying, "hey why not this flame arrestor--this is ridiculous"
    • When I heard the description of...but I heard the description of her with her her child, it's worth it, do it, just send out a quick tweet that's all there is to it
    • ML: can I ask one thing sure can I ask everybody to do me a huge favor
    • It would mean a lot to me if you'd also look at asking your representatives to support [[HR 919]]](https://www.congress.gov/bill/115th-congress/house-bill/919) Portable Filled Container Safety Act
    • It's a very balanced bill
    • We're saying just put the safety guard back on
    • And we're saying CPSC, you must protect consumers and students in schools, because there's three or four hundred kids
    • G: in science classes these are in science classes, so your kid could be affected, not just kids mowing in the yard
    • ML: right right right
    • And it's always people in their homes in social gatherings
    • And family gatherings
    • It's our houses it's the things they're supposed to be safe to us right
    • And we just want to make it safe
    • Again, cuz it's completely safe with this guard back on there
    • It is you know
    • G: So how do people get in contact with you if
    • ML: Not Your Turn To Burn Dot Com
    • G: Not Your Turn To Burn Dot Com
    • I'm gonna leave it there because I'm gonna get goofy, so we're gonna leave it there
    • {{ 911: Too late! Just kidding we love ya George. Thanks for covering these human interest stories }}
  • Day 143.1 Maybe A Year of Saying "It's the Blackberries!" Played a Role in BB Bust? - YouTube
    • It's day 143
    • And yesterday was obviously a big day there was
    • I think a total of 12 or 13 different videos
    • And I just was amazed yesterday was probably the most productive day in terms of research, leading to entities
    • I don't get focused on let's say the Vegas shooting...
    • I don't focus on all the details other people do that
    • What I do is I say ok what were the people involved, and what were their associations
    • ABM for Wong turns out to be a provider, a secure provider for medCom
    • MEDCOM what is us Medical Command of the three regions based in San Antonio that sort of thing that comes from that
    • What are the parts systemically in our government that could be attacked?
    • What are areas of research that we should move down in and find out more about
    • And then help our government inspectors to drill down
    • That's the idea here same thing here with Erman Owens looking at
    • Are radiologists actually--and this is not a radiologist like a doctors radiologist--This is a person who's taking x-rays
    • Are those people really writing prescriptions?
    • Why do they have DEA licenses if they do
    • That sort of thing
    • I've read several articles from people that were radiologists that never ever receive their DEA license
    • And understanding the DEA license process more
    • And then I saw yesterday it went all the way down to suboxone being a Y or something, fairly far down into the alphabet
    • Maybe not all the way to Y
    • But understanding that, so that the public can understand how this crisis is happening
    • Again, a hundred and seventy people a day
    • If you're gonna march from--wherever in Parkland to Tallahassee, to protest 17 murders, where your police won't go in, even when there have 39 911 calls
    • And even when they have police on-site hearing shots
    • If if you're gonna won't walk all the way from--Miami to to Tallahassee
    • And I think they took buses I don't even think they did a march...{{ lol }}
    • Then why wouldn't you at least put some effort into knowing how these licenses are given out
    • And what the source of the problem is
    • And then you can do that from just doing compound searches
    • And that goes into what we did yesterday, because we have a 190 of these people out there, who are whistleblowers
    • I would bet a half of them a full half of them are somehow are either involved in DEA or VA type whistleblower activities
    • Just given the nature of the news and the metadata in the news
    • And we talked all about being an information artist
    • All the different ways that you can do searches
    • All the different ways that you can help get the message out
    • Protests of the song sixties songs kind of came to light with JK here what that was great
    • Then it brings out things like this just graphics that show in one picture
    • Here the three regions of the US Army Medical Command
    • And these are the are the different--softs points critical crush points potentially
    • And there's that list I was talking about of all the different lists of--C is a practitioner for DEA license
    • J and K--just let's we can always remember J and K now, because we have JK, right
    • And that's the importer and exporter--it turns out to be importer and exporter
    • I hate to associate JK with that
    • But then we have these treatment programs it's almost PTSD it's almost all the same letters of PTSD
    • Just throw an R in there--So yeah just throw an R in there
    • And then it goes all the way down to X for suboxone
    • But curiously enough for this Rizvi guy that Q thought was can be important, come to the Q-laid
    • He thought that was gonna be important there is no W there is no W there is an I believe suboxone is an X
    • But there is no W
    • And Rizvi's license has a W
    • Is that gonna now, be an easy tell for anybody in the VA to come forward with more leads?
    • Well we don't know
    • And then the last week we finished off with this kind of simple fix--
    • I love these things that are ten cents, that's save four thousand lives and four thousand mother's going to Shriners Hospitals to exfoliate their kids skin every 12 hours and watching the pain in their daughter's eyes when that happens
    • I love that one that's where regulations do make sense
    • And just say hey let's eliminate 2000 regulations for this one $0.10 fix
    • So people say well nothing ever happens
    • Yes something does happen
    • This is an indictment of Vincent Ramos
    • And this is the guy who makes that phantom secure software for blackberry
    • RICO conspiracy
    • And conspiracy to distribute controlled substance
    • "oh you didn't take down you only took down one company in Vancouver BC, right"
    • You only took down one company
    • Well it just happens to be the backbone as I've said here for months or almost a year of the Sinaloa drug cartel, the largest cartel in Mexico
    • You want a strike at opioids, you have to strike at Sinaloa cartel
    • There's no out there's no there's no avoiding that they are number one they are number one by far
    • They are the elephant in the room in Mexico in terms of drug cartel right
    • They're not number two
    • We went for number one
    • And this is 80% this is the gorilla
    • Everyone else is a chimp in Mexico we went for the gorillas
    • And we went right at the heart of the information backbone
    • And we struck and we got the indictment: boom
    • Now, we also know that many other tobike gangs sponsored by ATF in the United States used this type of phone
    • So this was real results
    • And it happened within eight hours that was the amazing part it happened while we were doing the broadcast, which was very cool
    • And then this company is obviously in Vancouver
    • Now, I wanted to also I'll just take a little time to talk about this article yesterday was a 15,000 word article it wasn't 30,000 words
    • I pasted twice in the word count
    • So she didn't get paid quite as much Janet Janet Meyer didn't get paid quite as much
    • But there was a great treatment written by
    • And I was like to promote other channels "empty wheel"
    • This guy is got that Trish Negron type hand that Harvard hand--where they really know how to write
    • And really know how to do literary criticism...if you haven't read 15 months and 15,000 words later boosters still obscure the timeline on the Steele dossier
    • I tend to very quickly summarize Deripaska Deripaska Deripaska right
    • That's the essence of the article which is what's being smoothed over
    • But if you really want to see a great treatment, the Harvard hand the Trish Negron type Harvard hand
    • And I wonder if I almost wonder empty wheel is
    • So it has such a fine hand I almost I think oh that's Trish
    • But anyway read empty wheel in this article I'll put the links in
    • And then getting to blackberry someone said Ottawa, because I've been to Ottawa a lot
    • But it's actually in Waterloo
    • And this was one of the first towns I stopped in after I did the pain clinics in Detroit, then I went to the toWaterloo and that's where I met this filmmaker
    • And we were talking about the pain clinics in Canada
    • And how BlackBerry really started kind of out as a paging company
    • And then people said hey we can use these pages back and forth and that becomes kind of a text conversation right
    • >>>CONT
submitted by 911bodysnatchers322 to TruthLeaks [link] [comments]

Bipolar Law Student Adventures: Finals Edition.

Finals are going to span from tomorrow afternoon until the 5th of May, so I will just use this as a vent thread and keep updating it rather than do a several-part series on finals or anything like that.
I hand-write out all of my planners. I get those 100 page composition books from the dollar store. Every day gets a page with hours written down the left margin from 9 am till 12 pm. Each book has three months worth of pages. When a day ends, I alternatively fold in the top and bottom corners and it kind of acts like a book mark so I can immediately flip to the current day as time goes on...
This is an obsession. I will open my planner and flip through the pages and write in my class schedule and appointments and reminders and the "expected to-do lists". I've been doing this since March of last year. I now have 4 composition books stashed away in a drawer filled with folded pages and those day-to-day notes and the list of expectations I had for myself on any given day. My steady print. My lawyer-in-training cursive. Sometimes a rare quick poem that escaped from the chemical restraints of my meds.
And always at the end of every semester, in big ALL-CAPS printing, surrounded by a rectangle:
TORTS FINAL 6:30-9:30 PM
SALES FINAL 10:00 AM- 1:00 PM
etc etc
And here we are again, rectangled all-caps scribbles. Together, again. For the last time.
Usually, you'll have a designated "finals week" (which tends to span 2-3 weeks). All the finals fall into that timespan and if you're a lucky duck, each exam will be at least a couple days apart.
But why let a graduating third year enjoy that kind of luxury? Naww...
My first final is a take-home which will be sent out Thursday and turned in Saturday night. Then an in-class final Monday night (preceded by a 10-minute topical oral presentation in another class).
Then we get this nice teeny tiny little break they call "Reading week". But it's not a week. It's about 3 days.
May 2: Final. May 4: Final. May 5: Final.
(Mind you, the "finals week" is schedule to go until about May 17 or so. Oof.)
So I'm about to jump into a sea of sharks.
I go into stockholm syndrome mode. The law is my captor and I love him. I study him. I know and memorize all of his nooks and crannies. When I'm ready to tell the world, I write his life story (my outlines-- usually from memory) on whiteboard stretching across the classrooms.
...aaaaaaaand then I take the exam and forget about him forever [unless a) it ends up being a bar tested subject and I'll be learning it again this summer or b) it's a law subject I want to pursue a career in].
And tonight's the night before it all starts. It's like waiting in that three-hour line for a roller coaster and you're finally gonna go next.
So I will be taking a cruise to Stockholm very soon. I'll try to write home when I can...
Update 4/23 Afternoon: Got my assignment for my take-home final. I wish I can indulge some info on it, but 1) don't want to say anything that would be risk me being identified here and 2) our school does anonymous grading. So wouldn't want #1 to lead to flopping that up.
But I am excited about it. I do have a class in about 30 minutes so I can't jump on the project yet, but I will have all day tomorrow and most of the day Saturday. Whee!
After picking up this assignment prompt and walking outside, my Nate Reuss-lyic-singing friend was out here singing a few lines of "Carry On" by fun. I peeked over the wall to see if he was close enough so I could join him.. he was quite a ways away and just sort of stopped singing, so I just returned to my sitting spot. But it was a nice voice to hear and a nice moment of that bipolar-Nate Reuss Lyrics bonding lol.
Update: 4/24 Early Evening: Woke up relatively early (9:30) and did a chunk of research to start compiling the things I need for this take-home final. Took a needed nap at around 1-3 pm. Got back to work and have spent the last three hours compiling and putting squeaky clean touches on the first half of a two-part final.
Ugh, like I said I can't go into detail on this (maybe after I turn it in and get my grade back, if it's still topical, I'll post the details about it then.) But I'm happy about this because I get to squeeze a little creativity into this final.. which I've done on this first half. And I'm thinking of something cool for the second half.
With over 24 hours to spare before I have to turn in both parts of this final, I'm feeling good :) But I still have to squeeze in more work for other classes this weekend. Presentation on Monday. Trial Practice Final Monday night. Doing some study prep for upcoming review sessions.
I've also got to wake up early tomorrow for a three-hour semi-mandatory bar prep thing. And I also want-need to go to the gym, tonight.. probably in about an hour. So I'm going to set myself up to start on part 2 of this take-home, hit the gym, and curl up with the Bruce Jenner 20/20 interview when I get home (while doing little bits of work on this final during the commercial break).
Update: 4/25 just after midnight: So I would say I'm 85% done with this take-home final. I'm at the point where everything is on the page that I think should be on the page, but I need to spend time going over things and checking to see if I have any loose ends. Getting ready to pass out now so that I can wake up "early" tomorrow for the thing that I gotta do for the...zzzzzzzz.....
Update: 4/25: late afternoon: Take home final is DONE and turned in!!! Now I have to do: Presentation for Monday (only needs to be 10 minutes long so shouldn't be awful), Prepare for in-class final Monday night, get things together for review sessions on Tuesday/Wednesday.
OH and I also have to do the darn school newspaper before the month ends. -_-
Even though I was able to push through with this first final, I feel like I haven't kicked into "marathon mode" yet.....
Update: 4/25 evening: Working on my presentation. It's supposed to be about investing in gold. The class is corporate finance so I've been learning all semester about stocks and bonds and balance sheets and present and future values and all kinds of stuff-- it's the first time I've purchased a special calculator for a class since 2007.
I picked the topic of gold thinking there was something super complex and amazing to it. In the context of a class like this, it really isn't that complex. There's this price for gold that's set by the people who want to trade gold. And you buy a 1 oz coin of gold for that price. So in the context of a class where market value of stocks is based on intrinsic values of companies which is estimated by experts reviewing pages-long balance sheets and financial statements...... Eh nope. Not this. We, as humans, just feel like gold is special, and we pay $X for it. And we've got gold. And if we want, we can sell it for $Y. Oh, and Warren Buffet thinks investing in gold is stupid because gold can't actively turn a profit like a business can. I'll probably get brownie points for menitoning Warren Buffet.
...The presentation has to be 10 minutes long.. I can't end there, right? So now I'm on the verge of an existential crisis trying to pinpoint the moment in time in our human history where we decided to place a value on gold (or any currency) for any sort of concrete reason. And then I have to switch from history and philosophy to science to see that one supporting reason-- although not THE reason-- why gold is valued is because it's an inert, relatively rare metal. Doesn't rust, easy to smelt, heavy, and out of all the elements of the periodic table, Au is, chemically, the most ideal element to create a valuable currency from, with silver and copper coming in 2nd and 3rd, respectively.
But now we have our fiat currencies and the gold standard has been eliminated in almost every country... so why do people want to buy a 1 oz gold bullion coin for $1,200?
The only financially sound reason leads me to come up with ideas worthy of conspiracy.. and yet, as the kind of person who is always expecting worst-case scenarios, it makes total and complete sense to me so I don't knock anybody for thinking this way... in the history of fiat currency, fiat currencies will go up and down in value and sometimes, eventually become worthless. But through it all, gold retains value internationally-- the value fluctuates, but it never falls anywhere near into oblivion.. the price remains relatively high. So one day, when the US dollar crumbles and the economies of the world are running around like chickens with their heads cut off, the people with gold bullion will still have something that's worth something because.. well.. refer to the above paragraphs. lol
...typing all this out has really just been a practice in whatever it is I'm gonna say on Monday. I don't know how much farther I can take this topic...
Update 4/26 early afternoon: So I was stupid last night and the rabbit hole I went down with my gold research lead to me taking a fresh look at bitcoin. Wow. So.. a while back, when Bitcoin was trading above $600 or so, I had used faucets and got 0.015 bitcoin saved up. At one point, that much was worth $15 USD or so. It was basically beer money. I mostly used faucets.
And it's funny because when bitcoin used to only be about $5 USD, this random Bitcoin twitter account paid me 1 BTC to write a poem about bitcoin. WOW. and I ended up just giving that away as donations to friends.
So I looked back into bitcoin and the faucets I used to use and realized that these days, the faucet payout is higher. So I spent quite a bit of time in the wee hours last night fauceting bitcoin. I didn't fall asleep until 4 am (d'oh!). So I woke up today around 1 pm.
I'm trying not to feel bad about it. After all I woke up early yesterday and didn't take a nap to even things out. On the days I don't have to wake up early, I'll sleep in until 11 or 12.. so this isn't that bad. And I did get my final done yesterday.
So that's behind me. Maybe I can start fauceting again when I'm done with finals. But okay. We're done with that now. Back to focusing...
...this final I have Monday night is a team project. I woke up to texts from a teammate asking me for comments and suggestions on his part. So I went into his google doc and made my comments. Now I have to do my part which is to write a script, basically.. I've only written an outline.. I've written a script like this before and I know, once I start and it flows, it keeps flowing... Ugh.. can't quite get to the flow, yet..........
..Maybe I just need more coffee? :-/
Update 4/26 early evening: Took a coffee break and sat to talk to my mom for a while about my school work. She started talking about a party she went to last night with dad. I asked her how they got invited to the party (what the connection was) and she went on a long tangent about the party without directly answering the question.
See, my Monday night final, I have to do a direct examination. Essentially, you ask a fairly open-ended question but you prep your client ahead of time to give a pretty precise answer and prep them so that they DON'T go on a tangent. That's the script I've been working on...
...so I tell my mom she would make a horrible direct examination witness because I asked her one simple question and she went on a tangent that had nothing to do with my question. She was like, this is what your dad and I have always fought over for the last 30+ years. You think just like him. lol.
And it's true. I was raised in a direct examination/cross examination environment. My dad never pushed my to be a lawyer, I decided to be that on my own, but he inadvertently trained me for two decades to think like a trial lawyer questioning a witness. Although my training was in the form of me being that witness.. the witness who got a bad grade or didn't do her chores or the witness who needed help with homework or wanted to talk about education plans. If you don't answer a question a certain way with my dad, a conversation that a normal person would think should only last 5-10 minutes could turn into a 3-hour ordeal. I'm not exaggerating. And my dad didn't raise us that way by design, it's just the way he handled things with us.
...funny when I decided to use this reddit post as my little finals period venting post, I didn't think I'd start unpacking my childhood or my bitcoin fetish or an existential journey though the history of monetary exchange...
Update 4/26 nighttime: I'm trying to give myself a break by watching my regular Sunday Night shows.. Once Upon a Time and Secrets and Lies. My phone is blowing up with texts from a teammate asking me to help him with his part of Monday night's final.
OH NO OH NO RIGHT AS I'M WATCHING TV I SEE BEN CRAWFORD IS GOOGLING BIPOLAR DISORDER. DAMNIT, ABC, AND RISPERDONE... OHHH NOOO. NO NO NO NO NO F** YOU ABC DO NOT PIN TOM'S MURDER ON BIPOLAR DISORDER.
Anyway, after three years of law school, it's been a struggle, but I've more or less mastered the art of thinking twice-- or three times-- before I send off a text or email. This is especially helpful if somebody starts getting annoying or gets me upset. It's an exercise in "professionalism" and if you don't learn it by the time you're sworn in with the bar, it can cause you some problems in the teamwork arena. Text communication is a damn art.
NO F** YOU ABC DON'T MAKE THIS ABOUT JESS HAVING BIPOLAR AND NOT TAKING HER PILLS. GOD DAMNIT.
...Sorry, that was totally topical. I'm literally watching Secrets and Lies while I type this. If you watch the show, it'll make sense to you lol.
So I'm getting a flood of texts from these teammates asking me for their help. I'm the type of person who usually only communicates with a team to make sure logistics are worked out. I'm usually not asking the team for help on things that are minute details that I should be working out myself. And now one of my teammates is hitting me up asking me to do just that.
Option 1: DUDE I CANNOT HELP YOU RIGHT NOW I HAVE MY OWN PART OF THE PROJECT TO WORK ON PLUS ANOTHER PRESENTATION TO WORK ON. (And I say Option 1 because this is usually the visceral immediate reaction)
Option 2: Read his texts with my full attention (when there's a commercial break) and respond with my advice to help him.
I've been doing Option 2 all day.. all weekend, really. I even just made him a video to give him a comprehensive critique of his part of the presentation which he's written out and shared on google docs. I'm SO SO close to switching to Option 1.
Sigh..
Update 4/27 Afternoon: Finished my presentation. On to the next...
Update 4/28 After midnight: Two finals down. Flugh.
I got to a point tonight where I just wanted to get my part of the team-assigned final done and teleport home. At one point during a direct exam on the other side, the guy next to me who was about to do cross-- the same guy who was constantly texting me for help all weekend-- whispered in my ear and was like "so how do you think I should address what he just said in my cross?"
Like, okay, maybe I should be flattered, right? This guy is asking me for advice on this stuff which probably means he values my opinion. But at this point, I was just DONE. I can't THINK for you right now, bro. I just kind of waved my hands and told him "I don't even know, man."
Then I do my part which was a direct examination. I wrote a script for it and sent it to my "witness" ahead of time so he could get a good read through of it and it could go smoothly. I guess you can put some blame on me here for not trying a little more to practice with this guy, but he is a mutual friend of a lot of us in this class and he had played this exact same "witness" part for the other team last week. He didn't do awful but there were a lot of times where he was tripping over words and it felt like he might have been reading the thing for the first time.
He was probably just as exhausted as I was, but it just wasn't making things much easier. I got through the thing. There were a lot of amazing gems I had written in this script and he just didn't perform them the way I had hoped so again-- that's partly on me for not practising beforehand. But I'm glad he did it and helped. Always better to have somebody than nobody and without him, I would've had nobody.
Then later on with a different witness, the opposing side got up to do cross. I won't go into the details but they tried to introduce evidence that they knew or should've known was allowed in-- I tried to do exactly what they did last week and was turned down. So I made an objection. And in part I was annoyed because it was like-- you guys knew I wasn't going to allow this (we exchanged this in a stipulation memo last week) and you knew I wasn't able to do this last week. And they tried it anyway. But it was more than that-- it was just the whole weekend and all the anxiety of working on a team on top of having to do a presentation earlier the same day.. oye. And now you're gonna try to introduce evidence that even I wasn't allowed to get in. So my objection came out bitchy. My professor later characterized it as me sounding like I thought everyone in the room is stupid. Okay, I get that perception and there's no use arguing but at the same time it's like, I'm done. I'm just done.
I know it's a lot to ask everybody else to see things the way I see them, but for five fucking seconds can I get a break?
There was a redeeming moment, I guess. Another teammate had asked us to make comments on his closing. I did. He basically nixed all of my comments without making a single change to his "script" or even acknowledging what I was saying. And I mean that's fine, that's how he wants to do it. But I've had a history of working with this guy and he'll be MIA on the group project and then all the sudden last minute pops up and throws all of his suggestions at us too late and didn't pay attention to all the things we had already said. So seeing him just nix all my comments just added on to the 50 pound weight on my head. But then at the end of his argument, he did make ONE change that I had suggested. It was a fairly technical one but it signaled to me, "you were right on this one, and I'm doing it your way."
That was a nice 5 seconds.
At the end of the night and a long round of comments from the professor, we had to sign in on the attendance sheets (ABA law schools are weirdly strict on attendance records and you've got to write your john hancock on a sheet every class session). So I go up to sign and look up at the professor and he says good job and shakes my hand and gives me a wink. One of those "you did all right and i know that you know that i know that you know that you'll end up all right out there" That was another nice 5 seconds.
So I'm exhausted. And it's not over. I don't have to face another final until Saturday but I've got to go to review sessions that are semi-mandatory and require me to do practice exams if I want to show up.
At least I can sleep in a little tomorrow...
Update 4/29 wee hours: I spent the whole day prepping for a review class then I went to that review class and that was basically my day. Tomorrow will be similar and then I get to really get into the marathon.
Also, today was the official last day of classes which translates to me officially fulfilling by ABA class attendance obligations for graduation. I celebrated with lobster mac and cheese and a cupcake.
I think I may desparately need an extra 48 hours to study. Thing is, I've gotten by on less. I just need to figure out out I'm going to compact better....
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